Conducting a Difficult Conversation
Anticipating a difficult conversation in your education institution can be challenging, uncomfortable, and anxiety-provoking. Whether it's delivering bad news, addressing a sensitive issue, or confronting a direct report about their behavior, there are practices you can build to increase your confidence and produce the result you’re looking for.
Six Tips to Prepare for a Difficult Conversation
1. Prepare Yourself: Take time in advance to center yourself mentally and emotionally. Think about what you hope to achieve, and how you can communicate your message clearly and respectfully. Remember to slow down and breathe!
2. Find the Right Time and Place: Make sure that you have enough time to discuss the issue thoroughly and choose a location where you won't be interrupted or distracted.
3. Listen Actively: One of the keys to effective communication is ensuring the other person feels heard. Make sure that you listen carefully to the other person's perspective and confirm with them that you understand their point of view by speaking: “what I hear you saying is…”. Then ask if you are close to what they meant.
4. Speak from the “I” Perspective: When you're communicating your message, use "I" versus “you” statements. For example, say "I was frustrated when this happened" instead of "You always do X”. This shifts from blame or being accusatory to taking responsibility for your own reactions.
5. Bring Compassionate Directness: State the concern and why you are bringing this to their attention. Be clear and specific when communicating your message. Avoid vague or general
statements and provide concrete examples to illustrate your points.
6. Follow Up: After the conversation, follow up with the other person to ensure that the issue has been understood and that progress is being made. This will help to continue to build trust and reinforce the importance of an effective and open line of communication.
