Authentically Connecting with Others: The Three Circles of Energy
By Howard Teibel, Mary Herbert
“In second circle you are noticed, heard, powerful and remembered.”
Patsy Rodenburg
The history of leadership clings to outdated notions—dominating a room, commanding attention, or speaking so forcefully it pierces people’s listening. But what if effective leadership is less about convincing others to follow and more about bringing an authentic voice that invites genuine engagement?
How we use our voice and engage others matters as much as the words that come out of our mouths. We can show up around others in different ways: passive, aggressive, quiet, loud, relaxed, or tense. Each one of these postures shows up not only in our voice, but in our bodies. Can we bring greater awareness and choose our postures to better suit the moment?
British voice coach and theatre director Patsy Rodenburg developed a framework that helps us recognize how we’re showing up around others. As Rodenburg teaches to actors, the Three Circles of Energy is a way to connect with an audience. This same framework can be utilized for non-actors and is useful when building trust, guiding a change initiative, or being in difficult conversations. The power of this principle is to better choose how we show up in a meeting, conversations, or challenging situations in the workplace.
Without recognizing it, we move through these three circles all the time. Strengthening our capacity to show up with the right energy in that moment can make the difference between an effective engagement with others or making a situation worse.
Each of these circles have their place but Circle 2 has the greatest value when it comes to connecting with others.
What are the circles?
Circle 1 — The Energy of Withdrawal
When we show up in Circle 1, our energy is inward. It can appear as disengaged, even though we may be processing a situation in our own way. Others may see us as distracted or distant. There are moments when being in Circle 1 energy is useful (being in conversation with someone who is introverted, a desire to rejuvenate when our energy is depleted).
Circle 3 — The Energy of Bluff and Force
When we are in Circle 3, our energy is generalized and projects outward in all directions. It can appear confident, but it’s often exaggerated. In Circle 3, we are trying too hard to get attention, or that we want others to know we’re the expert. As Patsy talks about it, “it’s an energy that takes the oxygen out of the room”. In Circle 3, we can speak more than we listen and while it can grab attention, this way of being can erode relationships and credibility.
Circle 2 — Being Connected in the Moment
Rodenberg describes an alternative to 1 and 3, one that puts our energy in the moment – what we would call across many disciplines, being present. If Circle 1 is detached or unengaged, and Circle 3 is looking past others or dominating a situation, Circle 2 is being in the moment. It is giving ourselves permission to be comfortable in our own skin. In a conversation, we’re interested and not trying to be interesting. Instead of looking to convince or dominate the conversation (circle 3), we are receptive to the people around us. We slow down and allow the situation to unfold without trying to control it. We’re listening, responding, and creating space for dialogue.
How to connect with these Circles:
Notice Your Default - In stressful or high-stakes moments, which circle do you naturally slip into?
Aim for Circle 2 - When guiding a team through change or an uncomfortable situation, Circle 2 will allow you to make greater connection.
Match Energy to Purpose - Consider what the situation demands, such as quiet reflection, strong presence, or deep connection. Then choose accordingly.
Practice Shifting - The ability to move into Circle 2 from 1 or 3 is a leadership skill worth cultivating.
Practical Use in Higher Education:
In a budget meeting with deans, Circle 2 means actively listening to their concerns while guiding the conversation toward shared priorities. In a tense faculty forum, it’s the ability to stay present without slipping into defensiveness and making space for differing views without letting the discussion derail. During a large campus address, Circle 3 may help capture the room’s attention, but shifting into Circle 2 during the Q&A builds trust and connection.
By deliberately choosing the circle based on the situation, you not only strengthen your leadership presence, you also model the kind of engagement that builds credibility and creates lasting collaboration.
