Trust comes in many forms. The trust between a parent and child; the trust built throughout a lifelong friendship; the trust that comes from fulfilling promises at work. When individuals arrive on a new team or organization, they go through what psychologist Bruce Tuckman calls the Forming stage. In this phase, we take our time to adjust to new systems and processes. We’re less concerned with how well we are performing and more focused on relationship-building. New leaders use the Forming stage for their “listening tour”, delaying big changes until they get to know their people.
Once we develop ease with our co-workers, politeness begins to recede into the background. Critical decisions and actions need to be taken and our reputation is at stake. Being productive takes precedent over being liked. A tension begins to emerge as we become more aware of who’s not pulling their weight. It is inevitable, then, that mistrust will arise between some co-workers.
Issues of trust often begin with negative assessments we have of others:
You didn’t follow through on a series of promises – “unreliable”
Our boss resists delegating tasks – “micromanager”
A co-worker downplays others' accomplishments in favor of their own – “selfish”
These negative assessments, or complaints, can have serious consequences in the workplace including avoiding communicating with others and a diminished coordination on the team. A complaint is simply a manifestation of unresolved dissatisfaction that lingers over time. Each one of us has experienced this at work as well as in our personal lives. One way to address a complaint is to name your concern and turn it into a request.
A relatively easy example: Your manager conducts daily update meetings that provide little value. Rather than sitting in a perpetual mood of complaining about these unproductive gatherings, request a change in the frequency of meetings. Better yet, offer an alternative to the current meeting structure that doesn’t just describe the problem, but provides a solution.
Another common complaint is not having enough authority on a project despite having responsibility for its outcome; team members turn to your boss to make strategic decisions instead of turning to you. Turn this complaint around by making a request to your manager that they declare your authority to the team.
Complaints are personal. You feel wronged and don't want to take the first step. Cultivating a practice of asking “what request could address my complaint?” opens the door to repairing a relationship and restoring trust.
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To learn more about how we can assist you or your organization in building a culture of trust, read about our offers at teibelinc.com or connect with us at info@teibelinc.com.